Management Challenges - You get authority but have to earn respect

Show you are worthy of the respect of others

Some people still think that respect is attached to a job title.  As soon as you get promoted people will automatically respect not only your skills and experience, but also your new position.

This is far from the case, in fact if you’ve been through a competitive selection process you might find the opposite from unsuccessful candidates who you may now have to work with, or even be managing!  Your new position will give you a degree of authority, and people will have to do what you say (within reason) but that’s not the same as respecting you.

If you want respect then you are going to have to earn it, and it’s going to take some longer than others to give it to you. 

To start with, be clear about your values and then behave accordingly.  Many senior management teams fail to get the respect of their people when they publish and talk about the organisation’s mission and values.  They promote them, and frequently talk about all the benefits and why everyone should work to match them.  Yet they don’t demonstrate these values themselves, consistently, and then wonder why the rest of the organisation sees them as a sham and behaves how they please.  Without this consistency, you can’t develop trust, which is the foundation of respect.

In a shocking statistic Harvard Business Review revealed in 2018 that 58% of people trust strangers more than their own boss, when culture and values are non-existent it leads to distrust, frustration and disengagement.

Regardless of how your organisation lives its values, you must be clear about yours and stick to them, building up the trust people have in you.  Ideally your values will align with the corporate values, and by demonstrating them yourself, you are actually strengthening people’s views of you and the business. However, even if the organisation’s values are a little vague, if you’re clear about yours and behave congruently then you can build trust with those you come into contact with regardless.

You must be genuinely supportive of your team and be as open as possible.  Make sure you understand their needs and ambitions, meet with them regularly, design a development plan with them, and decide some stretching goals together.

Practice your ‘paying attention’ skills.  Actively listen, ask open ended questions and show interest.

Always do what you say you will, and in those exceptional situations when you can’t, be honest about why and what you’re going to do about it.

Ask for their help – ok, not all the time, but on those occasions where you need support don’t be afraid to ask your team for assistance. Contrary to making you seem weak, it shows that you are self-aware, and also sets an example that admitting you can’t do everything is acceptable.

There may be circumstances where a particular individual seems dead set on sabotaging you!  Difficult situations and people need special care and attention – they warrant an article all to themselves!  In general deal with the situation as soon as practical.  Meet separately, check there are no underlying issues that may be causing the behaviour.  See if the behaviour is deliberate, or just poor personal skills.  Always be calm and professional, but also be clear about how the situation impacts on you. Agree a way forward.  Quite often dealing with a difficult person or situation professionally can go a long way to generating respect, not only in those directly affected, but in the wider team.

However, whilst you must earn your team’s respect, and that of the wider organisation, you must give respect without waiting for others to earn it.  This may seem unfair, but by giving automatic respect it will ensure your behaviour towards others sets the standards everyone should be working towards.

You will build respect over time, with some people it will be quicker than others, no two people are the same.  Allow people whatever time they need, as long as their behaviour isn’t disruptive to the rest of the team. 

They’ll come round eventually!

Remember – it’s for you to demonstrate that you deserve their respect, whilst it is for them to demonstrate if they don’t deserve yours.