What do I Need to be Successful?

I’ve been pondering this quite a bit lately.  It’s a slippery beast.

There are lots of resources giving me ‘top ten tips’ for success, 

Courses I could go on - promising it,

Books I can read to attain it!

But here’s the rub….

…generally (not always) it’s about work, becoming your own boss, getting qualifications, how much money you can earn…..

However, it’s much more subjective and fluid.  Ask ten different people about what success means to them and you’ll get perhaps twelve to fifteen answers (it’s not uncommon for success to be represented by more than one thing).

There’s definitely a materialistic bias when people discuss success, but the level of wealth determining it varies from ‘enough to get by without worrying’, to ‘being the highest earner they know’.

Perceived status is another frequent measure of success, being the boss, being your own boss, being in a higher position than those you grew up with.

Success is fluid, your measure of success when you are a teenager, perhaps getting certain grades in exams, is going to change. Once in the world of work your aim might be to achieve a certain position.  As you reach your goal it’s generally replaced with a new target.

Success, and its achievement, also needs context.  For me getting up in the morning is automatic, I don’t think about it, I just do it.  No biggie.  For someone with a limiting condition e.g. ME, getting out of bed in the morning can feel like something to shout about - it’s a huge achievement - a success.  As we age, similarly things that we have taken for granted all our lives become more difficult, and achieving those are small successes to be celebrated.

Some people measure success by comparing themselves with others - did they attend a better school? do they earn more? have a bigger house? better car?  Although rarely do they compare themselves by whether they are happier than those around them!  Judging success by comparison just doesn’t seem to work, unless you really do make it to the top e.g. Bill Gates, Elon Musk, will you ever consider yourself a success? There will always be someone more successful to compare yourself with.  And if you are always looking up to define success two things will happen - 

You will never attain it,

There’s a good chance you will ‘look down’ on those that in your opinion you have overtaken.

So what is success?

Pretty much whatever you decide it is…as long as you have set yourself a target and achieved it you are successful.  Think you know your limits - stretch them just a little bit - that’s success.

It isn’t what other people deem, that’s their success, not yours.  

It isn’t only work/wealth related, though it can be, and often is.  

It isn’t fixed, it’s ok to wind down your targets, or flex them to match your changing situation.

It isn’t always long term, it might be something you want to do today, tomorrow or over the next week.

It doesn’t have to be something others will consider ‘big’, if recuperating from an illness a walk round the block could mean success.

Take a few minutes, look back at what you’ve achieved…..

Raised some half decent kids….success

Gone a week without smoking….success

Got to pay day without having to borrow money….success

Lost 5lb….success

Passed your driving test…success

Left the house for the first time in a while…success

Eaten a whole tube of Pringles (other snacks are available for purchase) in one go! ….maybe not so much unless it was for charity!!

Got to fifty connections on LinkedIn….success

Twenty sit ups, when yesterday you did eighteen…. success

Rented somewhere to live/bought a property...success

I think you can probably tell where I’m going with this…what does success look like?

It looks like YOU!

But, going back to the traditional assumptions about success being related to what you want to do with your career, what if you haven’t decided what that kind of success looks like yet - that’s fine too - your first success on that account will be when you decide what it is you want to do - after having considered a few options and maybe tried one or two.

Just remember - as far as success goes, one size definitely doesn’t fit all.