Management Challenges - Check Your Attitude

Don’t be a gossip or a grump!

I don’t know about you, but in my previous life I can remember being gathered in the office kitchen, with team mates and colleagues, complaining about the latest changes the business was proposing.  Sometimes we’d take the latest HR policy and pick it to pieces.  Other times we’d muse over what the business’s mission, vision, and values actually meant.

Sometimes our managers would join in.

I’ve also had managers you had to be a bit wary of each day, until you’d worked out whether they were having a good day or a bad day – so that you could try and avoid them if it was the latter!!

So What?

What’s the harm in complaining about how the business is run, and what does it matter if you’re having an off day, it happens to the best of us, people will understand, if it’s that bad you can apologise later?

Now you’re a manager you’ve got to be careful about how you behave, you’re a role model and people, your team in particular, will see you as representing the business.  You may not be the big boss, or make any of the key decisions, but the way you represent these issues will impact those that look up to you. 

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You may think it makes you ‘one of the gang’ if you join in conversations that bad mouth the business, it’s just a bit of fun.  Think about it, if your manager says he doesn’t have faith in some aspect of the business or the way it operates, why should you? 

So, just in case you’re tempted - no more getting involved in negative conversations about the business and how it’s run. If you join in you’re not only undermining the organisation and its policies and decisions, but also your own position. 

Regardless of what you actually think or feel about the business you work for, you now represent it as far as your team goes. If you talk negatively about the organisation you’ll quickly have a discouraged group of people on your hands if you’re not careful. 

It’s up to you to understand and promote the vision, mission, values and processes of the organisation.  This doesn’t mean you have to agree with them all, but straight up complaining and criticizing to anyone who’ll listen aren’t options anymore.  If you feel strongly then you can challenge and question, you’ve just got to do it in a constructive way using the appropriate channels.

Not only do you need to help your team understand the aims of the business, but also how these link to the work your team and each individual is doing and why what they do is important. 

I’m Just Having a Bad Day!

Maybe you’ve not slept well, or you had an argument with your partner just before you left for work.  Perhaps you’re tight up against a deadline and feeling the pressure.  In these circumstances it’s easy to let our tiredness, anger, or stress leak into our behaviour in the office.  Doesn’t everyone have bad days?  If you’re a bit of a Jekyll and Hyde character, letting everyone know when you’re in a bad mood by being grouchy and short tempered, your team will find it difficult to trust you – and even worse may think it’s ok to behave the same way.

I once had a manager who was generally approachable and supportive, but you could tell when he was having a bad day because he’d be short and snappy, and on some occasions quite angry.  Trouble was, you couldn’t tell until you talked to him whether it was a good day or bad.  If I could avoid talking to him I would as I was never sure of what sort of reception I’d get.  I couldn’t bring myself to fully trust him because of it.

Bad days won’t suddenly disappear when you become a manager – but learning to manage your behaviour is important to building positive relationships.  I’m not suggesting you suppress how you feel, that’s the start of a slippery slope, but find out what helps you regulate your behaviour.

If you feel things getting on top of you – take a break – go for a walk round the block. Is there someone you trust and can turn to for a mini-rant? (If you’ve got a good manager they could be the best person to go to, not only will it help you, but it will let them know that you’re not feeling so great).  If you realise you’re becoming agitated whilst speaking to someone, excuse yourself and take yourself out of the situation.  Some people find that writing down how they feel often helps ‘get it out of their system’, destroying it after can also be quite cathartic. 

You can also just tell people that you’re not having a great day, they’ll be far more supportive and considerate if you speak to them about it rather than just behaving badly.

Work out what works for you – and actively look out for those ‘bad days’ so that you can make sure you don’t allow how you feel to impact your behaviour towards others.

Your team, and anyone else for that matter, needs you to be approachable and consistent. They need to be able to trust you, otherwise you will fail to build the strong relationships you need to be a successful manager.

Whether you like it or not you’re a role model. You’ve got to find solutions to problems if things aren’t working, not just moan about them!