Four Communication Styles and How to Improve Them

Communication is a fundamental part of everyday life, yet often we don’t think about what/how we are communicating with others.  I’m sure you can recall at least once when you've been annoyed by the way someone spoke to you, or offended by a brusque email, perhaps you’ve felt uncertain by someone standing too close to you, or confused because you have no clue what the emojis in a text message mean?

You’re not alone.  Excellent communication skills can be learned, and awareness of where you can improve will lead to you becoming a very effective communicator.

Let’s break it down over the four types of communication. 

Verbal Communication

Exactly what it says on the tin: verbal conversation that includes sounds, words, and language. Verbal communication is said to be the most effective way to express emotions, feelings, opinions, and needs. If used correctly, words can help you be very straightforward and concise while leaving little room for question or assumption.

There are four types of verbal communication.

• Intrapersonal, communication with ourselves through thoughts or out loud.

• Interpersonal, communication one-on-one with someone else.

• Small group, communication between two or more people.

• Public, when one person communicates to a large group.

How to improve your verbal communication - 

• Be brief and clear

Have you ever sat through a colleague’s long and winding story when you have a lot of work to finish? It’s rough. Don’t fall into this trap yourself. Try to get to the main points quickly, whilst ensuring you can be clearly understood.

• Don’t be afraid of silence every now and then

It can seem like silence is unbearable, but it’s not always a bad thing. Don’t start blabbering just to fill the silence. (It’s hard, but fight the urge.) Your partner and colleagues will thank you when you have a grasp of when it’s okay to be quiet. If you can resist the urge to fill the gap you will often find someone else does - and you can learn a lot more - perhaps more than they intended!

• Find a “bridge” if you need to change the subject

Changing the subject tactfully is an art. Try looking for a “bridge” that can connect where the conversation is now and where you want it to be. Use connecting phrases like, “The important thing is…” or “I agree with you, but…” or “Here’s what I do know…”

• Get rid of those “um’s”,“uh’s” and “so…”

The average person uses fillers way more than they think they do. More recently there seems to be a habit of starting a statement with “so…” when done repeatedly it gets annoying. Try recording yourself in a presentation and listen back for how often you say them. Then moving forward, stay mindful of the fillers and speak more slowly so that you have time to think ahead.

• Plan and practice what you’ll say

Of course, there are a lot of impromptu conversations where you don’t have the opportunity to plan and practice. But when you have the chance, take even 30 seconds to go over your key points. This can work wonders for your communication skills.

Nonverbal Communication

Nonverbal communication happens when messages are sent and received without words. It typically applies to body language, tone of voice, inflection, facial responses, and other gestures.

It also includes creative or aesthetic means of communication such as dance, painting, and pottery. (Note: Nonverbal isn’t the same as visual, which is explained below.)

Some examples of nonverbal communication are:

Eye contact (or lack of)

Hand gestures

Crossing or uncrossing legs

Folding or unfolding arms

Fidgeting

Hugging

Moving eyebrows

Smiling or frowning

How to improve your nonverbal communication - 

• Make eye contact while someone is talking

This is the number one tip for showing someone that you’re paying attention to what they have to say. Hold firm eye contact, but don’t get creepy. There’s a fine line here.

• Avoid fidgeting or distracting movements

Don’t readjust in your chair seven times. Don’t click your pen open and closed over and over. Don’t shuffle through your papers during a board meeting, or click through your browser tabs during a Zoom call.

• Keep good posture

Another one of those tips that seems obvious, but is surprisingly easy to overlook. Check you’re not slouching - it’s an easy habit to get into.

• Don’t cross your arms

Some people think this is a “power pose.” This might be true in some situations, but in others, it makes you look blocked off from the other person. It can give the impression that you can’t wait to get out of there, which isn’t helpful for a good conversation.

• Pay attention to the same cues from others

Non-verbal cues might be unintentional, but they’re often intentional too. If your coworker isn’t making eye contact or constantly fidgeting, ask yourself if it might be a reaction to you telling a story that’s too long or bugging them when they’re busy.

Written Communication

Written communication is any message sent through written words or text. This form of communication is unique because, unlike verbal or nonverbal communication, written communication can be edited and changed before messages are sent.

Written communication also encompasses components of visual communication when sent through electronic means, such as phones or computers.

Examples of written communication include memos, emails, letters, reports, articles or blog posts (like this one!), social media posts, and print advertising.

One other point - always consider if written communication is the best option, quite often a quick call will be far more effective, if you find yourself rewriting something so that you can be sure the recipient will understand then there’s a good chance it’s not the most suitable option.

How to improve your written communication - 

• Never respond to messages when you’re upset

Have you ever sent an email when you’re mad, then later regretted the words you used? Been there, done that. If you get a message that upsets you, take a five or ten minute break (or even overnight!) to cool down before you respond. This can work wonders for your relationships.

• Write descriptive titles and email subject lines

How annoying is it to get an email that says “(no subject)?” Title your emails as succinctly and specifically as possible. Tell them exactly what it contains. Instead of “Meeting,” try a subject line like, “Request to reschedule our 2pm meeting to 3pm.”

• Use active voice

You might remember hearing this tip a lot in school. Instead of saying “The paperwork was filed,” say “I filed the paperwork.” This helps to get rid of any confusion about how things are getting done. In addition to being more clear, active voice is more engaging for those receiving your message.

• Keep your words and sentences simple

A general rule is that your sentences shouldn’t be longer than two lines long. Look for opportunities to cut them in half or make them shorter. You should also try to avoid over-complicating your writing with big words that some people might not understand.

• Keep it short and sweet

Similarly to not telling a long and winding story face-to-face, a long and winding email isn’t the most enjoyable experience either. In addition to making others feel like you’re wasting their time, it also boosts the chances that they’ll miss important details because they skimmed over them or flat-out didn’t read them.

Visual Communication

Visual communications involves sending and receiving a message with the help of visual aids. While visual communication encompasses some written communication, it mostly refers to symbols, images, and video.

Movies, TV shows, video, and plays are all visual communication as receivers need to watch them to receive their messages. Icons and emojis are also considered visual communication. The most common form of visual communication, though, is the internet, which sends us messages using a combination of text, colours, images, symbols, and design.

How to improve your visual communication - 

• Be sure your recipient is familiar with your visuals

Emojis are now commonplace, but there are so many.  You may be well versed in their meanings, but will your recipient?

• Use colour sparingly

Unless it’s an advertising campaign or other media requiring use of lots of colour keep it simple. Although a small proportion, 4.5% of the UK population is colour blind or has a visual impairment, bear this in mind when preparing visuals.

• Keep it simple

If using visual aids like powerpoint don’t clutter up slides with lots of text and images.  It’s a case of less is more.  Find the simplest way to demonstrate the point your slide is trying to make - challenge yourself to have as much white background as possible.

So there you have it, be aware of the different types of communication, and put into action the tips discussed above to improve your skills.  Let me know of any other tips you’ve come across or use to make you a communication expert.